Friday, July 17, 2009

Today's haul.

Today's harvest above: the season's first cucumber and red potatoes (thanks to Heather for the seed potatoes, which were shared to Angel, and then to me.) Not shown: the zucchini I sent home with Alice, who showed up this afternoon with soup and bread and cheese, kiwis and dark chocolate, and her sweet spirit.

The week has blessedly come to an end-- it's been busy and transitional and tough on Ziggy who dissolved into a long weeping and holding over supper. I promised him that after a morning spent at the office with me today, we'd spend lots of down time together getting recharged, and spend the weekend focused on same.

We were home this afternoon for napping (Ziggy's arms twined so tight 'round my neck, his soft sweet breath on my shoulder) and tidying and blowing bubbles, in the garden, and just hanging out in the back yard with the dog. Time of this nature has felt too scarce in the past two weeks, and it throws us off. As well, settling into any kind of new routine, and adjusting to big change-- particularly one with such fast moving unfurling -- is hard on him. And on me.

I had earlier planned to double up at Family School next week and knock it out in one fell swoop, but after last evening's come apart, it became clear that we needed to simply let that area of our life remain tried and true.

As I've decided on childcare, a three day a week program for part day, that piece in now in place. On the way home from the office, Ziggy and I dropped off the paperwork to enroll him and a deposit to the school we toured (and he loved) Wednesday afternoon. Though he won't begin the year there until mid August, he's very much looking forward to making new friends, and playing on their fantastic playground and in the "big room" full of magnificent tricycles. He told me yesterday morning, "I'm going to just talk to people and let them get to know me and if I forget their names, I will ask them."

Finding quality care at this late date for fall has been challenging. I'd initially believed we'd do two separate Mother's Day Out programs, but that emerged as tricky with availability, including that I really needed three slightly longer days of care instead of four slightly shorter ones.... Too, though the price was right, and the environments sweet, I knew in my heart that Ziggy would blossom more readily if given the opportunity to dig into a single community where he could, as he said above "let them get to know me" and he, them. I didn't have time or quite enough resources to work out the Montessori programs with barter and financial aid, and so many wonderful programs were just full up for Zig's age, or made little sense financially. I am thankful to my disparate array of mama friends for advice, recommendations, reminders and suggestions. I have also had an expedited education on what to look for and ask about, and have learned just how very large an expense good care is. Ultimately, the place we found was recommended by Rowena, a homeschooling mother of one, whose daughter has really enjoyed the program the last two years, her final one while concurrently homeschooling for kindergarten.

Truth be told, to have arrived at a decision, it feels as though a weight has been lifted, some brain and heart space cleared. I feel as though I've made the most right decision for my boy at this time, who I think has a really good shot at enjoying himself at his school this year -- a something he so dearly wants to do. I feel that there he will be safe, valued, cared for, and know that he matters. He will be in a class of eight children, with a veteran teacher and mother. Bittersweet: I am both proud and excited for him, and a bit sad that he'll be away from me. It all just happens so fast, this raising a child, this life living.

At my clearest place, I know that this is right and good for our family. I embrace the opportunity and daily, I pray for the clarity, the vision and the fortitude to do it with the best I've got.

Thankfully, I am in good company, buoyed by the love, support and good will of family and friends. Y'all know who you are. XXX

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:17 AM

    an exciting time for faces and places. he will greet it all with his trademark blend of wonder and spark!
    and hugs to you....even though you've been stretched the past few weeks like a piece of saltwater taffy, you remain strong. and clear. i loves you.