Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Oh, My Busy Heart.
Ms. Booty Homemaker is disorganized in thinking and fast typing.... sorry so absent of late. Busy hands, busy breasts, busy mind, busy heart.
Oh, my busy heart! So in love with my baby boy. So in love with my husband.
I'm feeling better, rounding a corner on the mending. Still on restriction w/r/t activities; it's okay. The lifting of the nightly fevers and hallucinations and night sweats is tremendous and has allowed me to sleep more than three or four hours (cumulatively) a night-- that has been wonderful: a tonic for physical and mental well being in the darkness bears its fruit hours.
The days are still good as they always have been, and the nights that were so hard are measurably better. The pain / discomfort / sleep deprivation is all very manageable at this point and I just lean into feeling tired when I am. Plus which, the cloudy mind has cleared, a gift in acuity.
We've figured out how to do side lying nursing (new improved with time body mechanics for gimpy me) and that helps so much in the big night stretching out before us. Last night was the first night we used it exclusively instead of having to get up out of bed and Baby Booty is just thriving. He is so beautiful, so clean and perfect and stunning and lovable. My Beloved Mister is absolutely mad about him. It's so gratifying and fulfilling and sweeter than words can say.
We get up (Ziggy and I, that is....) about 4:30 or 5 every morning. We nurse and cuddle and I sing and talk to him. Do a diaper change. Put him down while I start coffee and shower. By 5:45 or so my Mister is up and he walks Bert, then cleans and re-dresses and packs my incision wound site. While he readies for work, Ms. Booty's busy hands, busy breasts, busy mind, busy heart busy themselves with Ziggy and getting us both dressed and ready for the day of cozying in, an activity which is pychologically helpful, even if it means a bit more wear from the effort. That genuinely is reflected in my mental / emotional state, which ultimately has a profound effect on my recovery and on how present I can be for my husband and son. And self.
Oh, be still my busy dizzy heart. There are no words to tell how much we are loving one another in these moments, these days, these early precious weeks of being a family.
Posted by Ms. Booty Homemaker