Today I....

-- cleaned up cat shit and piss. I wish I could say this more nicely, but I simply can not. In my sunroom. On my briefcase tote bag with bills. On and in a box of Barefoot Books stock.

-- threw away two beautiful and perfectly good books from my stock save for being doused in said cat piss.

-- called my child's pediatrician to inform her that he'd eaten a quarter and to suss out the details about what this means for a child whose anatomy is not like yours and mine because he underwent Ladd's procedure at 7 weeks old.

-- did not totally freak out or cry or yell when child reported that he'd "put a penny in my mouth, Mama. It went down my throat and into my body." Instead, I ascertained that it was in fact a quarter rather than a penny, and calmly dialed our pediatrician's office while waiting in line for retesting on my car at the vehicle emissions testing place.

-- informed my husband that one of the two of us would need to filter through each and every poop of the next week as it issued from the boy's behind, to root about for swallowed quarter.

-- watched my husband's mouth fall open when I informed him that should the quarter not make it out (ouch), we'd need to go get an x-ray for the child.

--pulled out the little baby Bjorn potty from retirement to catch said poop.

-- drove 150 interstate miles, 75 of which were non-stop in order that I might reset my drive cycle in order to pass my previously failed emissions test due to ready settings being off.

-- introduced my son to They Might Be Giants' Flood on the ride.

-- met my mother and our dear family friend Jo H. for lunch at Cracker Barrell.

-- sat on the floor of same Cracker Barrell and played cars and old timey tops with my son and his grandmother.

-- laughed rather a lot, at the absurd mundanity of my and others' lives.

-- did not hear back from the second interview place to hear whether or not they will hire me.

-- sat in line at emissions testing place for over an hour, but did pass.

-- dashed across town to our home for just enough time to let the dog out, pack a snack and a supper for the boy, and drive yet again across town to attend our "family school."

-- met with our case manager and resource coordinator, spied my child coughing on another child through a classroom window, spent one hour in another classroom with small children who alternately cried, threw shoes at me, made me Lego towers for "birthday presents," sang happy birthday to myself no less than eight times, read no less than four books, and doled out snacks.

-- held the boy at an angle so he could do an emergency pee by the side of the car in a parking lot.

-- purchased a huge bag of food for the dog at PetSmart.

-- told a "mouth story" about Violet and Pansy, my son's favorites, and snuggled up my fellas until they slept.

--ate a bagel for supper, way late.